I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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