Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
