go do what you do best...puke behind churches
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize