Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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