thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i just google imaged poop.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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