I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
