"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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