She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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