Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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