i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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