Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
