Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Randomize
