I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
