Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
