You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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