I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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