worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
