It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
