I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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