when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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