I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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