in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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