it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
