New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Randomize
