saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
another moral hangover. fuck.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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