im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
