Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
