She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize