I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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