Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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