So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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