i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
