So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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