I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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