i don't like sucking hair
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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