we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
