It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
