You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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