I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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