Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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