lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
