she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I forget how to act sober
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
