so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
