Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
vagina is talking i cant
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
