Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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