two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize