Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
