I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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