I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
