let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
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if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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