Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
