I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
