just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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