Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
