Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
