can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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