I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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