She's JV to your varsity
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
