You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize
